Tom and Dane

At Stellenbosch in 2002, I listened to a speech by Adam, a BIG (that's what we are called). From that point onwards, I knew I had to join/enroll/become a part of Big Brothers Big Sisters. After all, it's only one hour per week.

After the compulsory training of eighteen hours and the signing of the contract agreeing to one year of one hour per week, the incumbent is matched with the child. In my case, I returned to Dingle House, Boys Town. Having worked there for four years as a housefather, I had a fair idea of to what to expect.

My match was a child called Dane. He was nine. He is very good at "Snakes and Ladders" and unbeatable (by me) at Pool - the sign of a misspent youth! Dane's favourite game, by far, is chase. In the road, around the cars, through the maze at the park - even through the house - one day I'll catch him! It was never questioned by either of us that, at the end of the "compulsory" year, we would carry on being friends. In February, it will be two years. And, in that time, we have eaten a LOT of Ice Cream, seen a few movies, been swimming, run miles, hiked together, played computer games, discussed school, exams and even discussed the Pope. But, I have no idea of his favourite colour. Try and test him on any car on the road and he will know what type it is.

What have I learnt from Dane?

He has brought fun back into my life - child fun. Trust is a big part of Dane's life. Never give up on learning, you can discover something new every day. A son's love for his mother is something not to be interfered with, but to learn from - totally unconditional. In this case it is equally reciprocated.

I am proud of the fact that, other than when I was out of town, I have only missed ONE meeting. I've been late and swapped days around many times, but only missed one. It's important to the Little. It relates very strongly to trust and commitment.

Would I recommend Mentoring?

Yes, but its not for everyone. In my group, two potential BIGs withdrew before the end of training, and I lost touch with most of my group after training. But, at the end of the first year, only three of my group have carried on. I feel the children really benefit from this type of mentoring. Big Brother really needs more BIGs.

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